Sunday, August 16, 2009

Tyler Durden Hates Jesus



As much as I like Brad Pitt's movies -- "Seven," "12 Monkeys" and "Fight Club" are in my top 20 -- I don't really think about Brad Pitt. Though I must admit, as someone closing in on 40, I am in awe/hate with the fact that he's still built like he's a 20-year-old gay porn star.

POINT OF DISCLOSURE: While I have indeed witnessed gay porn (once by accident, another by a dare) I'm making an assumption that 20 year old gay pornstars are at the peak of physical condition.

Yes, it's nice that he's adopted half of Africa, and it's mildly interesting that he's married to Angelina Jolie but honestly, I never really pay him that much attention. So imagine my surprise that after five minutes of watching him on Bill Maher's "Real Time" I was ready to uproot my family and move to New Orleans (America's personal Afghanistan) and vote him into the mayor's house.

Why? Well here are the three cornerstones of his platform:
1. Legalization of pot.
2. Legalize gay marriage
3. No religion

Gee, I wonder why he appeals to my heathenistic world view.

While he did not out and out claim that he is an athiest, (in fact he says he was raised in a religious household), anyone who wants to outlaw religion can't be a big fan. It's like if someone says they're not a racist but just doesn't think niggers should have the right to vote. Sometimes words speak louder than labels.

But, believe it or not, I'm not for abolishing all religion. Ok, maybe some of the crazy ones like the cults that involve drinking poisonous Kool Aid or the ones that make you do this. But at the end of the day I think that for all the shit that organized religion has wrought on the world -- war, touchy-feely priests, self-esteem issues, Tyler Perry -- I fear a world without it.

I mean, all religions pretty much say preach the same things: Don't kill anyone, don't sleep with your boy's wife, don't steal and don't get caught up in material goods. All of which I agree with. It's when we have to pay fealty to invisible father figures where I get off the train, but hey, if believing that you'll catch a celestial backhand will keep you from cheating on your wife or taking out the Home Depot with a semi-automatic -- fine with me. I will even take your condescending tone and holier-than-thou side-eyes when you realize I don't pray over my food or know the difference between ministers and preachers.

So as much as I'd like for everyone to be as "enlightened" as me, I accept that people need religion. That they need to feel their dead aunts are floating in heaven or that their lives won't end when they kick the bucket. And, I guess I get it. I just wish people didn't need religion so they could feel better than other folks -- especially those without religion. No need to pull down your pants to show us how big your faith is, as a matter of fact, Jesus would probably prefer that you keep your faith in your jockeys.

4 comments:

JerseyTjej said...

Now that you mention it, I DON'T think about Brad, not in terms of non religion, movies or adopting half the free world. I did, however like the movie Seven.

Weezy said...

Organized religion does have its place for some people, but I've never thought it was absolutely necessary. I mean, I'm not the most religious chick and look how sweet I turned out?

P.S. (I do tend to pray over my food in public places, just in case the chef had a bad day.)

B. Cause said...

JERSEY!!!! You're back! Thanks for coming. "Seven" was the shit. "What's in the box?!?!?"

Weezy -- Just curious, what is the purpose of praying over your food? Is it thanking God/Buddah/Whomever for having food or is it like spiritual hand sanitizer -- making sure everything is good to touch, drink, eat, etc.

Weezy said...

Spiritual hand sanitizer - yes! But I've also prayed over a meal that I've prepared, and at family gatherings -- blessing the hands that did all the work, thanking God for time spent with loved ones. It may just be ingrained in me. Worth exploring...