Tuesday, November 25, 2008

I'm Gay for Gay Marriage

So surpise, surprise -- the godless-heathen is for gay marriage. Shocker, right?

Actually, what I'm surprised at is that Ashton Kutcher is, too.

Well, maybe not surprised that he's for it, considering that he's one of those leftist-marxist, Hollywood types (you know, tofu, Prius, cavorts with "coloreds"). But I think I was shocked at how much he and I agree on the subject of man-on-man nuptials. Watch Ashton go positively heathenistic in his assesment on why Prop 8 is even a discussion (Fast forward to about 1:30 into the video).

See, right? Until this point the only thing I thought Ashton Kutcher and I had in common was lusting after his wife when we were children. Truth be told, I find Demi a bit too bony these days. She has that I-don't-eat-meat-and-have-no-subcutaneous-fat-anymore (Sadly, one of my other "80's ladies" Lisa Bonet is going the same way).

But according to the poll, I'm not the only here who thinks gay folks should be able to legally tie the knot. If you look at the poll on the right 100% of you (which equals roughly 2 of 2 voters) agree with gay marriage.

Right now, a lot of states offer "civil unions" which, to a brother like me, sniffs of "separate but equal." And Mr. Moore is right, this is only an issue because most of us have been raised Christians and men poking men or ladies licking ladies is not kosher. Even for those of us who are "cool" with it, many don't think they should be married in the same way "we" are. Many black folks also consider calling gay folks struggle to marry as a Civil Rights struggle to be blasphemy. I don't agree, which makes me a heathen in two worlds.

However, my wife has a great solution to this whole mess. And considering that she is/was a Christian, I think you should listen up.

She says the term "marriage" should apply to everyone -- gay, straight or Republican -- but for those who want to announce their opposition to gay rights can call their union a "Religious Marriage." So instead of amending the fucking constitution, let's just the bozos call their shit something different. Brilliant, right? That's only half of why I married her. The other half is not fit for this blog.