Friday, January 11, 2008

Why Heathens Are Responsible for Evil

Guilty Admission: I listen to Evangelical radio. A LOT of it. I'm not quite sure why as I have no interest in being "saved" (an irritating term that I'm sure most Christians don't know adds to the perception that they are pompous condescending)by Jesus or any of his friends, but where else can I go to listen to folks who honestly believe witches are REAL threats and that the end of the world is coming? Since I don't attend the third grade anymore, my only option is WAVA in the Washington DC area where every weeknight during my drive home I get to hear the Bible Answer Man, some dude named Hank.

Now, before I commence to snarking I DO have to give him props for making fun of Juanita Bynum. For those that don't know (and I was one of you two months ago), Ms. Bynum is a pastor who was in the news after her perfect marriage dissolved into alleged abuse and rape. Ok, that's not why she deserves being made fun of. But have you ever heard this woman before? She starts speaking in tongues and screaming at the top of her voice and ending each utterance with "and-uh." I mean, I guess she's no different than many other Black ministers but the clip Hank played of her made her sound like a fool. Click here for some that old-timey preachin'.

Anyway, one day Hank (or BAM, as I know him) was talking about the great scam of demon posession and exorcism. So, naturally to hear a man of Christ dispel the myth of demon posession was of great interest to me. Little did I know BAM would soon be pointing his judgmental finger through my radio at me. He went on to say that while demon posession is real (shucks!), those who believe in Jesus cannot be posessed by the devil. He went on to justify through some verses which ultimately lost me but it was the equivalent of "this town ain't big enough for the both us." So who, might you ask, CAN be posessed by the devil? According to BAM, only NON-believers.

I'll let you stew on that for a minute.


Ok, so by this logic, while I do not personally believe that Lord Voldemort is real I COULD concieveably be possessed by him -- just like the guy who had old Volde's head under his turban in the first Harry Potter movie. But the difference between myself and Prof. Quirrel (didn't think I could pull that name did you?) is that He is a fictional character who also believes in the power of another fictional character Lord Voldemort. Wheras I am a real person who knows Voldemort, Harry and the mythical country of England are all figments of J.K. Rowling's billion dollar imagination.

Seems to me BAM has it backwards. ONLY those who believe in God, and thus the devil, could be posessed by either. I fear many things in life: dying in a plane crash, not living long enough to see the new Batman movie but demon posession never crossed my mind mainly because I don't believe in demons. And I would guess, statistically, the number of demon posessions of non-believers is pretty low compared to those who think the devil is real.

Just a thought, not a sermon. (Oh yea, that comes from another radio show I hear/loathe).