Wednesday, January 6, 2010

Brit Hum-ungous Prick

If you haven't heard or seen by now, FOX News commentator Brit Hume urged Tiger to renounce his Buddhist ways and convert to Christianity so that he can, ahem, redeem himself. Seeing as the Daily Show has already done an excellent job lambasting Hume I won't take up too much of your time.

So why write anything? Because moral absolutism fascinates/repulses me. It's the reason I watch FOX News. It's the only place where you can gaurantee that an entire company is working to find the negative spin on everything THEY don't agree with. Obama saves a child? FOX NEWS: Why didn't he save three more? The economy is perking up? FOX NEWS: Yes, but hamsters still can't read. And it's all because FOX, and the "conservatives" they dance for, have a huge hard-on for Obama and the Dems. I get it, seriously I do, but that doesn't make it any less entertaining.

Likewise with religion. I am fascinated by people who - having never met Jesus or anyone who knew him; having never lived in other parts of the world; tried different religions or have never died - can definitively say that Christianity is the best religion going.

Look, I love Reese's Buttercups. And for the last 35 years of my life, I have yet to find anything equaling its in-your-face deliciousness (yes, Cinnabon, I love you too but eating a desert the size of a baby's head is . . . disconcerting). Neverthless, I haven't tried ALL candies and can't proclaim from the top of Mount Hershey that Reese's Buttercups are the Alpha and Omega of sweet treats. I mean, I would if they discovered Mount Hersey -- and I could get to the top without all the hiking and sherpas and frostbite -- but for now that is only a fantasy. Much like the supposed contest between Christianity and Buddhism.

So to Mr. Hume (who is now claiming he's being persecuted because of his Christianity -- for FUCK'S SAKE), I get it, you dig Jesus. So does most of the country you broadcast in. But if Tiger is a buddhist, let him be (if anything, he appears to have more Mormon tendencies). Besides, if Christianity really had the redemptive power you claim, why haven't you or any of your fellow "journalists" forgiven Bill Clinton?

1 comment:

Claudia said...

Great post, and yeah, that Daily Show segment was hilarious. I think what actually surprised me the most was Hume's facial expression - I kept looking for hints on irony, something, but he was dead serious. Turn to the Christian faith and be a role model. (Like R. Kelly, LOL.)

You're on a posting frenzy this year!